We unite in the Madness

It has been lying around for AGES until I started coloring (as...

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 17:22:11 +0200

It has been lying around for AGES until I started coloring (as you can see.. I did alot of coloring today ;))

Thats one picture for my friends and my story.. well.. the idea...

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 17:12:36 +0200

Thats one picture for my friends and my story.. well.. the idea we have ;)

-Kriegsgedanken-

Mon, 28 May 2012 20:59:19 +0200

Klar ist nichts
Nur die Unruhe selbst,
Die dein Herz in Flammen schmilzt.

Ehrlich ist keiner,
Nur der Lügner ist wahr,
Wenn er Worte nach seinen Gedanken formt.

Kühne Taten erschüttern die Welt
Obgleich im Mut verzweifelt
Männer zu der Mutter Füßen knien.

Kriege lecken den Boden rein
Schuldbeladene Kriegerziehen dann fort
Vondannen zur Heimat Schutz.

Klug ist niemand
Wenn der Herr so ruft zu gehen
Mit starkem Schritt voran.

Lieben wir man nicht mehr,
Weil auch der Beste stirbt
Durch Leid gepeitschten Befehl.

-schock.-

Mon, 28 May 2012 20:41:00 +0200

er erwachte. sein kopf drehte über sich selbst. sein körper warf seltsame schatten. schläuche hingen an seinen armen. wo war er? die hitze in dem raum war unerträglich. genau wie der geruch von blut. durch die schläuche floss keine flüssigkeit. sie hingen wie abgerissen an ihm. er setzte sich auf. seine augen sahen das schlimmste, das sie je gesehen hatten. eine frau am boden. tot. ihr körper war nichts als eine leere hülle. und ihr blut klebte an seinen händen. was sollte er jetzt tun?

und diese frage geht an alle: was soll er nun tun?

-Versunken-

Sun, 06 May 2012 22:49:56 +0200

Sie steigt und sinkt
Die Flut ihrer Haare
Begräbt mich unter ihr
Im Gewand der Nacht.

Die seichten Wellen branden
An den Ufern meines Körpers
Ich schwimme ohne Kontrolle
Wie ein Schiff ohne Segel.

Ihre tiefen Ozeane der Stille
Gaukeln mir Geborgenheit
Doch versinke ich ständig
In der Bewunderung ihrer Macht.

Alles an ihr gebietet mir
Schweigen und nur Schweigen
Als ob ich schweigen könnt
Im Anblick ihrer Schönheit.

Im Tanz des Lichts
Werde ich ihr Herr sein
Werde sie zu der meinen machen
Und für immer nur ihr sein.

So ertrinken wir gemeinsam
Gefangen im dichten Netz
Eines nächtlichen Traumes
Den nur wir bezwungen haben.

- to my brother.. -

Sun, 06 May 2012 01:27:00 +0200

some part of me is missing
well not missing in that sense
but missing you

i really enjoyed all the days and nights we talked and laughed
i loved how your voice sounded
it was awesome to practice with you
you wanted to teach me stuff
and you kind of did teach me
lessons i would have never learned without you

you were a brother
a saviour
my guardian and my guide
a perfect person to talk to

you kept me save
even when i was sad
comforted me with random stuff
played the guitar for me
even if you couldnt play or sing

we hurt each other but found a way out
just in the beginning
it was hard for both of us
but weve overcome that troublesome time

and now
i just miss you
i miss every inch i never knew
i miss christmas and birthdays
and letters

your painting is still on its old place
right above my bed
there where i can see
and remember our time

just hearing your voice now
it would tear my soul apart

just.. cant we get back to that time again
when monday was our night

im sorry..

Photo

Sat, 05 May 2012 14:59:00 +0200

One of my favourite songs at the moment.. SAIL ! Writing...

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 17:01:00 +0200

One of my favourite songs at the moment.. SAIL ! Writing that while listening :) ! And plain loving it .. SAIL !

// Eines meiner Lieblingslieder im Moment.. SAIL ! Ich schreib das, während ich das Lied hör.. :) Und ich liiiebe es !! SAIL !

This was one birthday gift for one of my friends :)

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 16:51:00 +0200

This was one birthday gift for one of my friends :)

-DEAD,DEAF,DEMON-

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 10:00:05 +0200

Already tired through the drop dead work
We play along the shivering lights
And darkness breaks our will
So we sleep through endless nights

A sip of these delicious lips
Parting my want end need
For those who sleep and work
It’s worth a thousand days

Just like poison the tired mess
In our tiny minds crushes down
Onto the bewildered dreams
So we all stay like that

And if we stay we wont ever change
Those lips will become sinfully closed
Those nights swallow all our wishes
For me and you the work means life..

// It’s not good I think. But it’s actually not bad either. Can’t decide on my position..

-DARKNESS-

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 21:40:26 +0200

Oh, who are you
Darkness, don’t hide your face
Kill the changes down the river
Let me see your vibrant glaze

Come through fog in silver lights
Where the kids go down in fights
Where the women cry in pain
Kill the lights, oh, kill the stain

Your mouth so red
From blood to dust
Your enemy shocked
Waited for your lust

It’s killing slow and slower yet
The scene now is though blood so wet
Your face upon me looks so said
Your eyes tell ‘Things went terribly bad.’

Hey there. I got something for you - that’s what I bought...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:15:00 +0100

What kind of stone looks so awesome?

Look at those bloody details..

Hey there. I got something for you - that’s what I bought for my cosplay.

I wanted some kind of collar that shows the piece of a broken soul. I love it! I really really love this piece.

What does anybody of you think about it?

-The Guardian-

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 18:59:00 +0100

My senses spreading their wings
Wide eyed kept flying and fleeing
The darkened road towards the kings
Beggars in shame continuously seeing
What I have come to see
The person on the throne there
Is what I never aim to be

I was young back then
And still a kid
Not knowing about when
Myself would get hit
The tough decision I had made
Destroyed my life and love
My family was in hate
Because bewilderness me drove

Now waiting for the day
The hero comes to life
I heard old women say
He saved once kid and wife
The hero is still hiding
To keep the people blind
Until he comes back guiding
Us to the world where love is kind

My identity is hidden
Behind thick sheets of insult
For me it is forbidden
To show you what I could
I came to save the poor
And left chased down to death
Lying on the floor
Nothing left but breath

The hero has not failed
And did his mission well
But my name has been revealed
What for they send me now to hell
The king has died
Within my bloody hands
His last words were cried
Into his starving lands

Outlawed was the key
Until my murderer will achieve the goal
And they were killing the prey
Leaving nothing than my soul
The dynasty surely destroyed
The people got back their wanted
What couldn’t have been avoided
Is what my life has granted

It has been a while since I wrote that poem. But i do really enjoy reading it.. Cause there is a movie going on about it in my mind.. but well..

- Warum? -

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 14:47:00 +0100

Was tun, wenn man nur Rache schwört?
Was sagen, wenn man wird nie erhört?

Was machen, wenn einem das Wort im Halse hängt?
Was denken, wenn Gedanken schmerzgetränkt?

Was hoffen, wenn alle Hoffnung mit dir stirbt?
Was ändern, wenn die Welt um dich verdirbt?

Was lieben, wenn wir und alles zugrunde gehn?
Was sehen, wenn wir im Schatten der Angst dann stehn?

Wohin eilen wir, wenn dieser Spiegel bricht?
Wer rettet uns, wenn unser Licht erlischt?

Wie leben wir, wenn unser Leben nicht mehr ist
und wie sterben wir, wenn uns der Tod so plötzlich küsst?

Brief an Luise

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 11:05:00 +0100

Kindesmörderin. Du. So siehst du es, so ist es auch. Er schrieb dein Leid im Gedicht aufs Papier und bannte dein Schicksal in solch ewigen Stoff. Einst hast du geliebt - das gabst du zu, doch du liebtest nie den Richtigen. Ersetzbar warst du, ein Spielzeug ungenutzt. Sein Kind gebarst du als er schon lang gegangen. Als es schon ewig an einer andren Lippen hing. Die glücklichste und schwärzeste Stunde des Lebens brach an. Nicht einmal schreien wollte es so recht, als du das Messer ihm ins Herze rammtest. Und tot war es und immer tot. Ohne Wiederkehr. Luise - du tugendhafte Frau - was geschah nur? Der Henker kam zu erlösen dich von deinem Leid und oh, Luise, du fühltest dich frei. Alles verdammtest du, bereit für die Hölle. Kein Leid war ewiger als der Verlust des Kindes. Flehend, so flehend war dein Körper auf dem Todesblocke aufgebahrt in Hoffnung auf Erlösung. Noch eines schicktest du letztlich nach: den Fluch auf Josephs Leben. Verdammt sein sollt er, ja verdammt. Und keine Liebe je wieder finden. Die Mädchen sollten ihm nimmer mehr verfallen. Bis seiner letzten Stunde Atemzug getan, sollt er für immer an dich denken - an dich und deinen Tod mit eben deinen Schmerzen.

Luise, man verzeihe dir, wenn du es selbst nicht zu tun vermagst. Luise, man erzähl von dir, weil du doch mutig warst.

Und dies soll unsre Lehre sein, dein Leben verschenke nicht, an niemanden auch noch so lieb - bereut wird es ja sowieso wenn dein Leben dann erlischt.

Anmerkung: Brief an Luise aus Friedrich Schillers “Die Kindesmörderin”

- My generation -

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 11:16:00 +0100

Reality is close now, close
but seems so untouchable far
it hurts to reach my arm for it
not worth the pain at all

They say you have to live
in real worlds like they do
I breathe, I love, I hate
why is my world not real too?

I can see all my people there
and we are the better world
we love and help each other
just not like other men

We are gentle and childish, kinky and cute
but always what we want
what’s internet for if not for that
to be what in real worlds we can’t?

We ain’t in a wrong world like you say
we are right and happy
just like you we live and breathe
and work for all of it.

Random words #1

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 21:35:56 +0100

Radio. Misuse. Warm. Therapy. Book.

What am I doing this for ? Good question - I thought about writing some stuff i find when I google “random words”. Just to be creative, you know ?

You can see my 5 words up there - and I will try to combine them into something readable :) Just to tell you my rules.

In my life everything went better than I thought. I got friends, i had my awesome family and we did all the things we had to do in an awesome way. Well, thats what I thought. The book written about me says something else.

One day the sun was shining down onto our house, heating the air up after that hard winter. I stepped outside into the garden.

I lied. I said everything was ok. The radio played a quiet song in the background as I left the garden and walked down the street.

In the past I found out, that i got some skills, that were not common and not good for me. I was able to see and hear what others thought. I misused that skill. First they thought I was crazy and sent me to that therapy I was heading to that day.

Nobody knew what I really was - Special in an uncool way..

That was really senseless - I am sorry. I just need to get used to English again. ;)

German or English.

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:19:28 +0100

Actually I dont know - I dont even know what I should write up here.

I am thinking about much stuff.. and I want to draw more - so Id like to have more ideas for drawing..

At the moment Im always tired when I come home from work. I cant even stay awake till after 10pm. For me thats totally weird and uncool.

Where does that come from ? Seriously I wanna be wide awake again !